You guys!

I'm about to find out about all the ghosts in NYC!

I got a book out of the library called Ghosts of New York!

It's hardcover and scary.  There is a ghost in a restaurant, and also some public restrooms!

A previous reader underlined some stuff in the book already for me:
"Alexander Hamilton's shade has been seen on Jane Street."
"It has been suggested many times that paranormal activity is due to spirits being troubled."
"napkins disappear from customer's lap"

This is going to be a terrifying read.  

Yesterday, my neighbor thought Jesus had sent me to her door.  But really it was the loud beeping coming from her fire alarm for the past three months that sent me to her door.

Or was it Jesus?  Am I a ghost?

Scary all the time!!

Good evening,

I went with large print today because I'm scared my eyeballs are failing me. I've been squinting a lot. But I'm more scared that the world is getting smaller.  Don't things seem tinier? The writing on labels?  Dessert servings?  The ladies at the gym?  All seem like they've been zapped with a shrinking laser beam.

Does anyone know where this laser beam is?

I read today that your vision improves when you think you're a fighter pilot.  They tested people in simulators, all scientific-like.  They should have challenging books that shoot things at your faces.  I am going to write that book.  It will shoot little peas at your faces.  It won't hurt but it will be annoying.  But then your vision will improve!

I could also write a challenging book where spiders crawl out while you read.  Call it A Spider's Touch.  I would base it on my experience when I sat on a chair and baby spiders came out of the chair and crawled all over me.  Thousands of spiders.

I'm barely alive. 

Take a moment to check your chairs.

 

I forgot I was doing this blog!  

Then I walked into my drugstore and all the toothbrushes were behind glass, under lock and key!

What happened there?  Did people, uh, do things with them?  You know, like, poking?  Is it a thing Kids are doing?  Do they think locks can stop Kids?  Are they crazy?

Or are toothbrushes an important part of the modern Satanic ritual?  I capitalized Satanic there--respect?  So scared now.

Saw a Satanic guitarist going to rehearsal today.  I knew he was Satanic because of the blood pentagram t-shirt he wore.  And that his band practices Monday morning.  Devil's work.

But back to toothbrushes...If people are just stealing them, shouldn't we as a society just let it go?  Don't we want clean mouths out there?  We don't want gaping hole mouths with black crud dripping out!  We don't!
  
I hope Walgreen's has thought this through...