Today's Scary Thoughts are obviously dedicated to Irene--what a bitch! I mean, I don't like to talk like that about others but really, kinda bitchy, Irene...
So we're about to be devastated by a natural disaster. We can't even shoot it down with fighter jets or use an Uzi on it, and THAT is the hardest part for me and my fellow Americans. Like, we just want to shoot it or I guess capture it alive and put Irene on trial. WHY CAN'T WE JUST SHOOT IT?
They say there's going to be flooding and that would fulfill my dream to travel everywhere by canoe like they did during the fur trade. And that is my plan. Pilot a canoe through Manhattan. I will trade cats. No, I won't. I will hoard cats. All cats on deck!
But I will miss electricity. I am charging up all devices. Even my back-up ipod with music from years ago. Like I think it's all blues. Early Stones. That "Float On" song.
We need radios to receive messages from our leaders. So it's basically World War II now. Except in this scenario, Mary and Moe and two cats huddle around my Sony Walkman. Yeah, I still have mine. It has a mix tape in it. And it's the only thing that gets a radio signal. I'm probably just going to wear out the batteries listening to that tape. What's on it? I used to make some pretty mixed up tapes, a lost art.
Really excited to eat my disaster snacks which include a variety of chips and dips, because who knows how I'll feel hour one of the hurricane--hopeful? Eat the hummous. Despair--full fat chip dip. Or eff it, I'm soloing the ice cream bars. Oh, don't forget the choco-mint destroyers from Trader Joe's or mini cookies in a bin. And the omg the chili!
I actually might do more damage to myself staying inside than any storm could do. Should I just go out there?
OMG IT'S RAINING!!
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